June 2011
misfits season one simon the weird kid
aww it’s a baby, a slightly creepy sexually repressed lonely desperate… but adorable baaaaaybee boy!
Vs future simon sex god superhero badass.
woops! I seem to have lost my pants, feel free to do the same sir.
ache.
you know that feeling where the world starts crashing down around you and you’re sitting there with tears cascading down your face, while you look wildly around for something, anything to distract you. Your mind whirrs going through your lists of “friends”&”family” that any person in pain should be able to call and just spill their heart out to, but it occurs to you that almost everyone in your life, even your family is basically just a bunch of acquaintances who don’t really know you, don’t understand your feelings, or how to talk you down, or handle you at all, and basically you’re just alone.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter. Being solitary and generally keeping to myself isn’t a punishment, it’s a choice, and preferred to trying to keep up with every social event and all the problems and drama and gossip that just gives me a headache.
But there are those split second moments, those agonizing seconds of longing and aching deep within me for someone who would be there to just listen, to sit quietly without trying to counsel me or try to critique me and give objective advice, because that’s not what I need to hear. I am a rational being. I can handle the criticizing and advice on my own.
I reason with myself in a matter of minutes and then my heart does what it was trained to do, calluses over, cuts off the pain and cynically rationalizes it all away.
and now we’re back at the beginning of the cycle, suppression.
good night.
